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I did everything for her, I would still do anything for her, except sacrifice my sanity and my health. These people are clueless when it comes to relationships.

They are blinded by their own pain. They have zero idea how their behaviours affect people. The amount of pain they cause is staggering.

They simply cannot offer any emotional nourishment for their partner, and so slowly drain you of your soul. I hate it. It took away the love of my life, and has caused her so much pain.

My advice is to keep loving her, until you see the faultlines emerge in your own sanity and health. They are not bad people, and you are not a bad person for leaving.

You are saving two people if you leave at the right time. I wish I were wrong. I happen to be male and suffer from bpd,it sucks feeling abandoned,not only am I adopted ,but even after finding my biological parents at age 31 and establishing a relationship.

I really love my wife and if I do pass I can only hope she will get my life insurance paid to her…I wish there was a cure because I like it when life is good and happiness is a norm.

Mark if you would like I can publish a list of counselors that specialize in BPD in your area. I be happy to do that. I also urge you to call the suicide prevention line if you have any thoughts 1 DART is gone, his post is a year old, but dang.

My ex used to compare me to a werewolf, heh. It was true. All I have are claws and fangs and the thirst for hate and blood. This article was awful.

How dare you encourage people to run away from anyone with BPD. Try to have a little compassion for the suffering of others.

I fell in love. My girl friend has this. We broke up. She never told me she had it. Now we are back together. She was afraid I would think she was crazy.

I have studyed hard I m learning. We love each outher and together we will overcome. This article not only was written in a negative light but is super misleading.

Your article sucks all the hope that ppl with BPD such as myself will have no hope in a relationship.. To all the girls with BPD upset about this article, thank you.

Thank you for showing us the heart of this disorder, self centeredness. Instead of complaining about the truth in this article, how about admitting you have a problem, go get help, and stop dating men until you are healthy enough to have an adult relationship.

This is so generalizing. To all those people that defended this article remember this is being spewed out to the masses.

When people generalize it causes fear. I myself was diagnosed with BPD. It really peeves me because I live also as an incredibly self aware person.

I am not at all as bad as most, but I do have it. Seeing this made me so scared for the individuals like me.

That we are that disposable? I know I put him through trauma, and it only adds to my own! I hope all that read this are able to pick that out.

There is no human being that is perfect. Remember that!!!! Rather than acknowledge that you have a proble, you double down and continue to blame others.

Sorry guys, nobody needs to sit around and endure your bull crap and to be mentally and physically abused. You are still accountable and you need to own up to it.

My wife of 12 years was just diagnosed with this condition, and I have lost her to this disorder. This disorder has ruined my life. How sad. Wow, i feel like this was written about my relationship its almost scary!

Thank you for this, it is helpful. Many people with BPD seem to be making comments about how this article offended them.

I did not read it that way. When I read this article, I was actually about to copy the link and send it to my husband so he could read it.

I felt that it explained BPD fairly accurately. I have been married for 10 years with BPD. My husband is very grounded in who he is, which helps. He helps me calm down when he can see that my voice is starting to elevate and I start speaking in a frantic-like tone.

I know many of the men that have commented here are also probably patient, kind, and loving. The important thing to remember is that no two people with BPD are going to be the same.

Good luck to all of you with BPD and all who are struggling in a bpd relationship or the aftermath of a bpd relationship!

This is one of the bleakest and demeaning articles I have ever read about BPD. Fatal Attraction is one of the worst depictions of what standard Borderline Personality Disorder really is….

In all your education, have you never heard of extraneous variables? For example testing a drug on someone, who is on other drugs, would not be an entirely accurate depiction of the effects of the drug itself.

That being said, All I can do is hope is that you are not counseling people who are at risk for self-harm. I have done my research on this.

I was with my ex about a year and a half. The first 3 months were fantastic. Then the lying, cheating, not keeping promises, the plethora of inconceivable behaviors….

I tried breaking up soooo many times…. Her baiting was pretty effective too. How many guys on the side are you going to have.

How many times are you going to still my prescriptions? Are you going to lie about going to therapy again?

Yep, I saw your message logs. I feel sorry for BPDs. I have seen the REAL selective amnesia in place. I have seen you alter your reality…your memory…to fit your emotions.

I have seen it first hand. I would not wish BPD on anyone. I admire anyone who goes full throttle in therapy, that much is for sure.

I only offer one bit of advice for the NonBPD person out there. They should not be in a relationship. They will make your life hell by a death of a thousand cuts.

They will break you. They will make you think you are crazy and bad. The damage this causes to your life is just too much…They need to fix themselves before they ruin more lives.

Do you get the picture. It seems obvious to me that such words are meant to intentionally bait people.

Nobody likes to be taunted or be patronized or face condescending know-it-alls. Compassion, people, please. My marriage was a wonderful experience and I know what it is like to be loved, to work together as a couple, to compromise, to care and be cared about.

But this man and I have been on an emotional roller coaster for over two years. Perhaps this article can help me understand. At first I was frankly shocked…who does the things he did?

Taking a small thing and turning it into a real war of ugly words. I wondered how it was he could not discuss things logically.

Last summer he became physical and that was not acceptable. I told him its over and our separation lasted for eleven weeks. I missed him a lot but peace was in my life.

Then we started emailing and his apologies and kindness allowed me to put down my defenses and begin dating again. Our calm period lasted almost six months.

Now, after the latest verbally abusive episode, I again decided its over and then found this article. Were I younger, I would defiantly not be involved with him.

To think of a future trying to always side step his hostility only to be adored a week later, is too much drama. But, I am older and far more secure and assured in my life.

One more time — maybe I can try. Knowing this is an illness of sorts I am hoping that maybe I will see the beginning of his episodes and be able to not take it so personally.

Not sure if I can manage this but right now if we can find a common ground, he accepts responsibility, then there may be a chance.

I do wish that where I live there would be a support group to help me out. I will check that out. The pain and turmoil I have created in the lives of others, as well as in myself, has at times been overwhelming.

I did not feel in any way offended by this article and I think those that are will quite happily play the role of victim till the inevitable violent end comes.

Never really attempting to improve themselves in any meaningful way, always expecting everybody else to put in all the leg work. He would wear hats or beanies when he felt exhausted.

The relief he found with his rituals, avoidance, and reassurance-seeking behaviors were only temporary.

Individuals who suffer from BDD most likely will experience symptoms of depression such as social isolation, low motivation, poor concentration, sleeping difficulties, and significant changes in appetite.

They may experience feelings of sadness, anger, guilt, and hopelessness. They may have poor self-esteem, suicidal thoughts, and may have lost interest in activities they used to enjoy.

BDD sufferers obsess about one or more perceived defects in their physical appearance. One difference between OCD and BDD sufferers is that most individuals being challenged by OCD have insights about their obsessions and realize how irrational their thoughts may be.

On the other hand, those struggling with BDD may experience little or no insight about their appearance, beliefs, and behaviors.

No matter who they ask and what treatments they use or undertake e. Their perceived defect continues to plague them. They feel depressed and may experience anxiety, among other feelings.

However, a prevalent feeling with BDD is a feeling of disgust. They hate and loathe their appearance. They also feel ashamed of their perceived blemish.

BDD sufferers experience thinking errors that worsen their state of mind. For example, mind reading is a common thinking error in BDD. Individuals believe that others are going to react negatively to their perceived defect.

She works with children, adolescents, and adults coping with anxiety, OCD and other OC spectrum disorders. Her expertise is working with obsessive-compulsive disorder.

She also counsels with parents who are dealing with family challenges. Such thoughts and behaviors can leave you feeling anxious, distant from your peers, and alone.

Appearance concerns are a normal part of adolescence and young adulthood. BDD is a body-image disorder characterized by an excessive concern with a perceived flaw in your appearance.

Having BDD can negatively affect your relationships and interactions with your friends, significant other, coaches, teachers, and family members.

In fact, BDD is more common than you might think. You are not alone. BDD often starts during adolescence — right at the time you are starting to develop your own identity, gain more independence from your parents, and develop close friendships and romantic relationships.

While your friends are focused on navigating independence and building relationships, you might have a hard time focusing on anything other than your appearance and a fear of being judged or rejected by others.

These concerns can make it seem impossible to spend time away from your family and with your peers.

However, the more time you spend apart from peers, the more stuck you feel, and the thought of developing new relationships seems all the more daunting.

Staying home from school only makes it more difficult to make and maintain friends, develop romantic relationships, and share common interests like photography or baseball with classmates.

Having BDD can severely impact your life and those around you, like your friends or family members. Friends may stop asking you to hang out because you always say no or cancel last minute.

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